Vomit KING contest

Malacca - A new club, Movida, recently posted an advertisement of their club activities which stormed out the whole country. The club trying to create publisity to attract new customer and at the same time to strengthen their existing customer base. One of the most popular events held here in this club is Vomit KING contest where all contestants which are the clubbers are invited to participate to measure how much they can vomit after consuming alcohol beverage.

This contest became so popular until clubbers all over Malaysia come down all the way to Malacca for this event every Saturday night which causes massive traffic jam around Dataran Pahlawan area and at the same time emptying other famous clubs in KL such as Zouk, Maison, Ruums and others.With the amount of clubbers right down here in Movida, the management team have already acquired the rest of Hatten Square to accomodate all party lovers to watch and participate Vomit KING.

The contestant are required to consume 2 bottles of tequila or less in order to encentuate their vomitting skils to the public. The vomits are measured in different categories such as Men, Women, and Gays. The winner of this contest are given weekly prizes of Kick on the Ass and the grand prize winner would walk back home with a LOSER tagged on their foreheads.

Movida's management team planned to continue this event on annual terms as to bring back All Stars to compete with each other on 2012. - Lynn-

Flying Schools in Malaysia are shutting down

MALAYSIA - Department of Civil Aviation in Putrajaya have recently announced a shocking news that all flying schools in Malaysia are ordered to immediate halt due to recent kamikaze activities happened in Malacca. The students in Malaysian Flying Academy are taught to demonstrate kamikaze activities by their instructors as part of their syllabus.

Awie Chick confirmed the rumours after experiencing the misconduct first hand degree when one of the students demonstrated near collision to Pasar Borong Melaka after conducting a surprise spotcheck on one of the students. "I never felt my balls reach to my mouth so fast when that student trying to kill me", explained the flight officer from Department of Civil Aviation.

According to the Malaysian Flying Academy principle, the syllabus carried out are valid and taught in Australia flying schools. He also added that the training is not dangerous and are carried out with various safety measures.

However, schools would remain close as further investigations are conducted. -Lynn-

Helmets for Everyone

KUALA LUMPUR - JPJ have announced that effective of 31st April, all motorcyclist are required to use helmets while riding their motorcycles not excluding Singhs with turbans. Currently, all Singhs who wears a turban doesn't need to wear helmets due to helmets doesn't come in sizes to fit their turbans in. 

JPJ spokesperson added that safety of all motorcyclist are their top priority which resulted the recent research and development of helmets which can be used by all Singh men nation wide. The helmet is more elongated than the normal rounded helmet for other users which are expected to be highly demanded for the couple of months in order to fulfill JPJ requirements.

According to JPJ, all helmets now can be found and bought in all motorcycle shops and accessory shops. "This would not pose any trouble to consumers to find those helmets as we already made sure that the product is easily accessible anywhere in Malaysia including grocery shops in rural areas," stated chief officer Khamis. "Our main duty here is to make sure all motorcyclist are safe and considering minorities safety as well. We should put them as our priority too as they are human just like us," he added.

Helmets are sold in all retail outlets throughout nation. - Lynn -

New car model released by Honda

TOKYO - Officials confirm that a new car model is released in Tokyo by world's biggest car producer, Honda, last week. After the released of Honda City which is currently a popular demand in the world, Honda CEO decided to release a new model sequel to the current model Honda City, Honda State.

According to Honda's spokesperson, the car comes in various new features which would blow consumer's mind. It is stated that the car is the next generation version and comes in a very futuristic characteristics. The car is fitted accordingly to every customer's needs and wants. It can be customized to all likings of the customer.

The car is designed to multitask in every situation which gives the consumer the liberty to travel anywhere in the world. Other than normal average car which is used to drive, this car have flying and floating features where drivers can choose which mode they wish to travel.

"A car that can fly, float and driven on road. What else can you expect?" stated by avid fans of Honda manufacturing. "Nowadays all cars have airbags, heated seats, breaking systems. Having new features such like this would interest us more and I'm proud to be one of the first owners of the car," stated the customer after placing an early booking of Honda State at a local showroom. However, every motorist have to possess additional license to fly and sail in order to use all the features fully. 

With the futuristic features available for the car, it is expect market demand for Honda products would shoot up and indirectly would increase demands for additional licenses needed to use the car.

The car is expected to be released to public and sold worldwide in on February 31st 2011. - Lynn -

Unidentified Object Spotted

KUALA LUMPUR - At approximately around 10pm yesterday, tourist visiting KLCC spotted an unidentified object flying around the famous Petronas Twin Towers. It is said that the U.F.O was spotted by a tourist from China who is busy video taping the Kuala Lumpur scenic view via Sony Cybershot camcoder.

According to the tourist, Keh Poh Chee, the flying object was circling around the tower with wings. Further description of the U.F.O draws an image that it carries a bow and arrow, and seemed very much naked with only leaves covering its private parts. "I was video taping the traffic jam down at the streets. Malaysia very bad traffic. Suddenly don't know where it came, naked, curly hair, flying thing came front window. I record and it shoots arrows at me. But I'm smart and move but my husband stupid. It hit my husband and he ran away with a lady standing behind me shouting she is his first love!"

Artistic sketch of the unidentified flying object magnified from the video clip taken by witness.

Scientist all over the world are baffled with the discovery and continously fleeting into Malaysia to watch the video clip recorded in order to investigate its origin. "This spotting made a revelation that not all U.F.O flies in spaceships. We can also conclude that this U.F.O sighting proved that they don't need to be very much scientifically advanced than us on Earth and can always be primitive creatures", stated by one of the scientist from USA, Dick Bieste, after reviewing the video clip.

Nothing else can be concluded by the Malaysian government as all research are currently taking place in National Science Centre to find more source of that object. - Lynn -

Grizzly Panda Bear Cub born in Malacca Zoo

MALACCA - What it is suppose to be an experiment proved as an achievement to researchers in genetic engineering in Malacca Zoo where a new cub is born. Grizzly Panda Bear also renamed as "Grizzda" is a cross-breeding program between a grizzly bear and panda awed the crowd and nation after being produced the first cub within the zoo captive borders. It is told that the cub looks like a panda with longer fur like a grizzly bear.

"Due to global warming, grizzly bear and panda are becoming an extinct animal very soon as their natural habitat is diminishing. Our cross-breeding made those two species to be more tolerant with our surroundings and hence to continue the linkage of two different bear breeds in the world," explained the zoo captive breeder.

Their diet consist of meat and bamboo shoots as grizzly bear loves fresh meat while panda likes bamboo shoots. Asked how this going to effect the cub, "We are not sure which is preferred by the cub but we hope it likes meat as it is so difficult to get bamboo shoots. Due to global warming, bamboo shoots are no where to be seen and many of our bamboo cutters end up having bodily itch which ends up scratching themselves."

The cub currently located in the zoo with its parents and can be viewed by public from February 30th onwards. -Lynn-

Garuda Airlines New Ambassador

JAKARTA - Garuda Airlines recently announced their latest ambassador for their airlines to continue promoting throughout worldwide, Jessica Alba. It is said that Miss Alba loves to fly in Garuda Airlines because its so rich in Indonesian culture that she totally fell in love with it. However, rumours indicated that Jessica Alba actually fell in love with the CEO of Garuda Airlines but it is declined by Jessica Alba herself. 

"Other airlines are actually jealous of my decision to represent Garuda Airlines. It is fully my genuine interest to represent them as I really love the services and the food provided on the airlines. I normally fly in Garuda Airlines to any parts of the world for either vacation or job purposes and end up gaining 20 pounds after landing because of their food is so rich in culture that made me to eat more," explained by the world known actress with a gleeful expression.

The CEO of Garuda Airlines expressed his utmost appreciation to Jessica Alba to consider and representing them, "It is my greatest pleasure to welcome Jessica Alba aboard as she is our favorite customer and always welcomed in our planes to assist the expansion of our airlines. She never treats herself as a guest on our planes and always up to help us service to other customers."

For now there is no future plans for Jessica Alba to switch airlines unless the airlines bankrupt themselves. -Lynn-